An Indian summer in the middle of winter. ♥

A second of pain..

..because we did a blood glucose test in BioLab, lancets and all! =)))))))))))))

Me: Uy ate bilangan mo ko ha! Count me down!
Trinna: Sige sige ha.. Hup! *fakes pressing the lancet button, then LAUGHS*
Me: HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! O_O
Trinna: *LAUGHS AGAIN* O sige, sige. Eto na. One, two.. *presses lancet button* *LAUGHS*
Me: *jerks hand away after feeling the lancet sting* AAAH!
Gen and Trinna: *LAUGHS*
Me: T_T

LAWLZ. =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Had lunch at Flaming Wings, then had lunch AGAIN at Angel's house.
Gen and I didn't really mind because we didn't eat breakfast in preparation for the blood glucose test. :D


*****


Okay, let's get a little serious.

Over SMS, I told Kris that I was never really over him.
And it's true.

I told him that I was already okay, but somehow he went back into my life.. and I don't want to lose him again.

He wasn't mad at me (I asked). But he doesn't want me crying again because of him, he feels guilty. And he still remembers that time when I was really mad at him.. This was just last summer.

As stupid as this might seem, I am crying while I type these words.

No, I'm not over him.
No, I don't want to get over him.
No, I don't want to lose him.
No, I don't want to lose him AGAIN.
No, I can't forget him.

And maybe, just maybe.. YES.

I think I still love him. :"(

I don't know if it was by fate or by chance or pure coincidence.. But I was listening to this song while I was SMS-ing him. It said whatever I needed to say to him..

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

- "Thinking Of You" by Katy Perry

It's a painfully beautiful song. Strongly recommended.

God, I miss him even more. :"(

Oh, won't you walk through
And bust through the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay.

Cuando estoy con él, estoy pensando en ti.
When I'm with him, I am thinking of you.

'Til tomorrow.
♥

Imma put you to bed. <3

Last Sunday, I heard J. Holiday's Bed playing on the radio.
But something was different. There was a girl singing, too.

I looked it up on Limewire, and found it was Nina Sky. :)
DOWNLOAD.
Okay, it's done. :D

LOVE IT.ü
I miss Luigi. :)

The song isn't exactly, well.. Romantic.
But it's nice, really.
ü

To end, I shall copy paste some of Nina Sky's parts.

[Nina Sky:]
Boy tell me what you want and I'll give you what you like, yeah
Uh huh, alright, yes, my body's yours tonight
Anything that you need, you can have it from me
Cause baby I'm here to please, so put your love into me
I know you like when I tease like that (like that) like that, especially when I'm at
Don't stop, ooh I like what you're doing so please don't move
Never met a man that turns me on like you do,
Oh oh oh

'Til later. Hehe. :)
♥

Some kind of awakening.

I just realized that I haven't though about him for quite a while. Thank goodness school's been keeping me preoccupied..

I find myself sleeping well most of the time, but there are days when I just lie awake in my bed, late at night (or real early in the morning), thinking of what could have happened if I never met him, if I never liked him, never fell for him.. God, I miss him..

But most of all I was thinking of what could have been..

It breaks my heart that we'd end up like this, we haven't seen each other nor even conversed via text message. Well, I've actually sent him a text from time to time, but he always tells me to stop texting him.. It really breaks my heart, it shatters it to a million pieces.. It still hasn't been fully put back together in the first place.. And now's it's broken again.

I'm not completely over him yet. It hurts.

But don't worry about me, I'm on the lookout.
I'm trying to go to whatever events or parties my friends invite me to go to.

Damn, I miss him.. I just realized how much I miss him.

So I'm keeping Rascal Flatts on loop again. If you read one of my older posts, you know how much I love their song, What Hurts The Most. And that's what's on loop on my Limewire now..

The song says it all..

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away,all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last
I need you by my side

- "Everytime We Touch " by Cascada

I downloaded the slow version of Cascada's Everytime We Touch. Compared to the original, techno version, this really gives justice to the lyrics. There are some poetic bits like "Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.", which I absolutely love. The song is a great expression of love and adoration for your special someone. It's absolutely amazing. I suggest you go and download it. :D

I would love to sing this to my boyfriend.

Future boyfriend, that is! :)))))

I can see it now.. He and I are in a private outdoor gazebo (prolly in a restaurant), under the starry night sky. While we eat our candlelit dinner a pianist plays in the background. After we finish eating, I hand the pianist a piano piece, it's Everytime We Touch the slow version. He leads me out of the gazebo and onto the grass. We slowdance under the stars, while I sing the song so only he can hear.. :)

Ayieeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :)

The problem is, I'm in love with someone I can't have. I know I'm only getting hurt, but I still feel that I love him so much..

But I guess there's always someone better. Someone who deserves my love. And it wouldn't hurt that he be goodlooking, haha! :P

I will definitely be able to move on.
I have my friends, don't I?

And it takes the right man, too. :)

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky
Can't you feel my heart beat so, I can't let you go
I want you in my life

I would trade, give away, all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me
Every now and again I pretend that I'm okay
But that's not what gets me.

- "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts

I could really relate with this song. It's funny how I stumbled upon it.

My friend Nica introduced me to this song by Cascada, Everytime We Touch; and I instantly loved it and so I searched for other songs.
So I downloaded..

• Everytime We Touch (Slow)
• What Hurts The Most
• One More Night
  
• Ready For Love

What struck me about the song was the lyrics, so sad and speaks of heartbreak.

And then last week, I was watching America's Got Talent season 2, and it was already the Final 4 episode.
The 4 finalists were already called out: Cas Haley, Butterscotch, and Terry Fader, and Julienne Irwin, and they all had to perform the judge's choice first.

And it just so happened that Julienne's judge's choice performance was What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts.

The next day, I downloaded the Rascal Flatts song. I fell in love with it right away. I was on the verge of tears as I listened, no, I felt the song. The words struck my heart like an arrow, straight and true. I remembered him, and how those 2 short months meant to me. How I loved him, but he could never love me back because of his past. It was complicated, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

Not for anything.

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.