Some kind of awakening.

I just realized that I haven't though about him for quite a while. Thank goodness school's been keeping me preoccupied..

I find myself sleeping well most of the time, but there are days when I just lie awake in my bed, late at night (or real early in the morning), thinking of what could have happened if I never met him, if I never liked him, never fell for him.. God, I miss him..

But most of all I was thinking of what could have been..

It breaks my heart that we'd end up like this, we haven't seen each other nor even conversed via text message. Well, I've actually sent him a text from time to time, but he always tells me to stop texting him.. It really breaks my heart, it shatters it to a million pieces.. It still hasn't been fully put back together in the first place.. And now's it's broken again.

I'm not completely over him yet. It hurts.

But don't worry about me, I'm on the lookout.
I'm trying to go to whatever events or parties my friends invite me to go to.

Damn, I miss him.. I just realized how much I miss him.

So I'm keeping Rascal Flatts on loop again. If you read one of my older posts, you know how much I love their song, What Hurts The Most. And that's what's on loop on my Limewire now..

The song says it all..

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away,all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken