Once Upon a September: Chapitre Une - A Surprise Visitor

*note: copy-pasted from my Facebook notes since I wrote it there first. :D*

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Wednesday, September 9, 2009 at 3:15am

What I'm feeling now: I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, YOU'VE BEEN BREAKING MY HEART FOR THE PAST MONTH WITHOUT APOLOGY OR EVEN A TEXT OR EMAIL OR IM. Geez. It's over.

This past month has been so much stress and emotional warfare, that for the past couple days I have been nothing more than a hollow shell, only to be filled with depression; as well as experiencing a drop in self-esteem. What would make one feel more unloved by being ignored by the one person who promised he would love you forever.

Shame on me for believing you. And to think it was your birthday a few days ago.
Tsk tsk.

But today one of my foreign friends happened to be online on MSN (how I love you, MSN.) and I told him about it. It was quite the lengthy conversation and I'd rather not divulge the entire thing.. Although I will post a bit for your viewing, er, pleasure. XD

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Thomas says (12:08 AM):
i want to show how beautiful u are

Marianne says (12:08 AM):
thomas
i really wish you were here

Thomas says (12:09 AM):
what woud u do if i was

Marianne says (12:11 AM):
i would hug you so tight, and cry until my eyes get red

Thomas says (12:12 AM):
dont cry babe
hes not worth it
i wanna look into ur eyes
tell u everything will be alright
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I was pleasantly surprised. Someone new had come into my life, and although he was thousands of miles away (he's Irish, huzzah! okay, bad joke lol) he was telling me that everything would be alright; though I had cried for over an hour then.

My eyes were all bloodshot and slightly puffy from crying (yuck, I know) but then again.. I really couldn't help crying. It was too hard to accept that the one I loved the most would just leave me hanging, with no reassurance or hope that he was coming back. I didn't even understand why he left in the first place.

For some reason fate brought someone new to me, someone who would give me even the slightest glimmer of hope, that I would bounce back from this heartbreak feeling so much better. Someone who made me feel so much better, I would get on a plane to Dublin in a heartbeat. (That is, if I had the money. Of course.)

A dear friend of mine taught me something very important:

Never give up in faith and fate.

So I guess things get better and brighter, after all.

Thank you, Thomas. I owe you a whole lot.

Someday I'll find a man who'll make me feel like this everyday.
Like I'm jumping for joy, extreme happiness, and/or bliss. Whichever amounts to that.

P.S.
Special thanks to Ate Abbi and Kym. You two have inspired me to write again. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope to see you soon!

Extra special P.P.S.
To my best (and only) Belgian friend, Mallika D'Huys: You have been such an angel. You knew about this first. Words cannot really express how much I am grateful that I have a friend like you. Thanks for being my best friend waaaaay back in 1st year (SUHS, huzzah! XD) and I am also grateful that you are still one of my best friends today. Come back soon, okay? Bring Milo! Chris and I will be waiting. ♥