Nummy num nums. xD

I am eating lemon cake, therefore the title. xD

It's been a while since I blogged. A lot has been going on, the highlight, probably is Zach.. :>

Everyday I wake up, I feel blessed that I have been given such an amazing man. We may be thousands of miles away, but somehow, the love shines.. It's amazing.

Last Saturday night, I went to my cousin Ian's birthday party at Hai restaurant, and, let's just say, the alcohol kind of got to me. There was this certain guy I really liked, and in the end, I kissed him goodbye. On the lips.

I told Zach almost immediately, through an SMS, the guilt was killing me slowly. I betrayed his trust. I broke a promise. But to my surprise, I received his reply:

I absolutely don't hate you, babydoll. Everybody has needs, Marianne.

I didn't understand how he could be so calm, after what I did.. :"(
Some more replies from Zach:

You really shouldn't hate yourself.. the test is if I lived around you; would you have kissed that guy? And this doesn't have to be the end, M, it is but the beginning. I still love you. Always.

I cried after reading that. I felt like I was at an all time low, yet I still had someone who would love me no matter what. I don't deserve him, yet he sticks with me..

We'll get through it, honeybunch. Don't you worry. It hurts but I'll get over it; it's not like you wanted to. I love you, Marianne.

It breaks my heart to know that I hurt him like that.. :""""(

I still trust you, hon. Don't wish that upon yourself. I love you through and through, and without you. My life would be empty. Completely. Don't you worry a bit,dearest.

How often do you find someone who loves you unconditionally even though you hurt them with a stab to the chest? Certainly not often.. I hoped he would forgive me..

I absolutely forgive you, babe. I really, really appreciate the honesty; and I'm the same way, I could never lie to you.. it'd eat me up inside. Don't cry though, honeybunch. I love you soo much. We're all but human.

I told him that it gets very lonely.. The distance slowly kills me, eating me up from the inside..

It kills me too, doll.. but we can withstand the test of time, I believe. No matter what. But I'm so glad I can make you feel wonderful; because it's really amazing to feel true love.. you make me so happy. And you do make it up.. by loving me just the way I am.

I love him. :"")

'Til tomorrow.
♥